Principles > Tactics - CARE About Them

I thought I was walking into a hard conversation.
Instead, I walked into the biggest leadership lesson of my life...

Jim (not his real name) had been with us for over a decade.
Customers loved him.

He listened. He empathized.
He made people feel like they were the only one that mattered, because to him, they were.

But behind the scenes, life was getting heavy.
And it was starting to show.

Missed days. Dropped balls. Friction with the team. I’d been patient. We all had. But it was time for a serious conversation.

Meeting was on the calendar. Talking points prepped.
Be clear. Be firm. Be fair.
Standard leadership playbook stuff.

But before I pulled the trigger, I went to my dad, our company’s founder, for advice as I often did back then, and still do.

He listened carefully. Then asked:
“Joe, when’s the meeting?”
“Tomorrow.”
“Hmmm…move it back a week.”
“…Okay?”

Then came the unexpected assignment:

“Every free moment this week, on your drive to work, during lunch, driving home, I want you thinking about Jim. What’s he going through? What’s weighing on him? Keep thinking about him until you get to a place where you really care about him.”

I jotted it all down on a yellow legal pad.
That’s how you know it was serious, when a yellow legal pad hits the desk, you know it's about to get real.

“Okay. Got it,” I said. “Now what?”

That’s when he smiled, slapped the table, and said:
“Then go have the meeting!”

No five-step framework. No script. That was it.

I raised an eyebrow.

He leaned in and said:
“You see, Joe…once you truly care about someone, you won’t need any tactics. It will just come through naturally."

I may have been young at the time, but that stuck.
And it rewired my approach.

I’d come looking for a set of tactics but what he gave me was a principle instead. And here's the thing...

Principles beat tactics.
Every. Single. Time.

So I did it. I spent the entire next week thinking about Jim.

And when the meeting came?

It was less a performance talk and more a human one.
Still honest. Still direct.
But grounded in something deeper.

He knew I cared. And that changed everything.

He turned things around. And he’s still with us today.
Still making customers feel seen, heard, and valued.

But here's what really changed:

Me.

That conversation taught me something I’d never forget:

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝘆 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺...𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗮𝗰𝘁𝘂𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗲.

Not a set of tactics.
Not a performance.
Just authentic CARE.

That’s where real leadership begins. Always has, always will.

Thanks, Dad.