The Go-Giver

Somewhere in a landfill sits a half-finished negotiation book.
I never made it past the middle...

Back in 2008, Vortex was growing. We were signing bigger retailers, having bigger conversations, and getting opportunities that felt a little above our weight class.
And if you've ever been there, you know the feeling. Everybody else seems like they have the secret handshake.

So I became convinced there was a skill I was missing.
Negotiation.

After all, these weren't small accounts anymore. These were professional buyers. The big boys. I needed to step up my game…
So I bought a book!

And one lesson got hammered home over and over:
If someone asks for something, never give it to them without asking for something in return.

Armed with my new negotiation skills, I was anxious to put them to the test. Then I got a call from one of our retailers...
They were working on a fall promotion and wanted to kick around some ideas. Normally, my mind would've gone straight to: How do we help create something special?

Instead, I heard the negotiation author whispering in my ear.
"If they ask for something, ask for something back!"

So I did and I'll never forget what happened next…silence.
You know the feeling, the conversation kept going, but the momentum was gone.

Looking back, what bothered me most was it didn't feel like me.
Funny thing about relationships, the second people feel the scoreboard comes out...something changes.

I remember hanging up and thinking: That was awful.
The crazy part? I knew it was awful while I was doing it. My heart wanted to help, but my brain told me to negotiate.
A few weeks later, I found myself wandering through one of my favorite places on earth, an airport bookstore.
And I spotted a little book called The Go-Giver that looked interesting.

I remember thinking: perfect, it was short, it was a fable, and I'm a sucker for fables. I figured I could knock the whole thing out before we landed in Salt Lake.

Somewhere above the clouds, it hit like a lightning bolt. Me…not the plane. The book was giving language to something I'd already experienced but couldn't articulate yet.

The reason Vortex had momentum had nothing to do with negotiation skills, it was because we were focused on creating value and building relationships.

The negotiation book taught me to view the person across the table as an opponent. The Go-Giver reminded me to view them as a partner.
That little book changed my life.

A few weeks ago, I had the chance to sit down with one of the co-authors, Bob Burg on the podcast. It felt a little surreal. Imagine handing out thousands of copies of someone's book for nearly two decades and then getting the chance to finally thank them face-to-face.

We talked about value, service, relationships, and why keeping score quietly destroys momentum.

Looking back, momentum returned the moment I stopped asking what I could get and returned to asking how I could give.